By Thomas A. Parmalee
Allyse Worland remembers a piece of wisdom she learned when she started in funeral service.
“My first mentor always told me the person in the casket is like the bride at a wedding – if she doesn’t look good, the whole thing isn’t right,” she said.
Those words carry a lot of weight in her book, especially given that it was how a deceased loved one looked laying in a casket that first ignited her interest in funeral service.
“I was 9 years old, and I had a family member pass away unexpectedly,” she said. “His appearance in his casket was what I would consider unacceptable, and I was inspired to do better for others.”
But making her way in the profession was not easy – it literally involved knocking on doors to be invited in to learn more about the ways of funeral service.
Fast forward to today: Worland is a funeral service veteran who loves what she does and is determined to one day own her own funeral home.
We caught up with her to learn more about why she’s so passionate about serving others and how she made her way into the profession.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I am a small-town girl from Indiana who had a dream of becoming an undertaker. At the age of 15, I began working at my hometown funeral home, and I have found my place in funeral service ever since. I left home at 18 years old, put myself through mortuary school, sought out professional development, and I am now a part of many boards and committees within the profession. I get to do what I love every day of my life, and even if I knew back then what I know now, I would absolutely do the same. Funeral service is the love of my life, and I am still so excited to be a part of it.
Was it hard for you to get more information about the profession … what was your first big break?
It was very difficult at first. The only information I could find was in my local library, which was very minimal. That is what led me to knock on the doors of funeral homes as a teenager, and even then, I had difficulties with anyone letting me in. Finally, I did have someone open the door to me, and she became my first mentor – Leslie Thackery. She taught me the basics and beyond while also teaching me the challenges of being a first-generation female funeral director.
You’ve worked at several funeral establishments, including some time at Service Corporation International. What have been the big differences you’ve noticed working for a big corporation versus a smaller funeral home? Which do you prefer?
I have worked for large corporate firms, mega-firms that were still privately owned, and small family firms. Each of these had their advantages and disadvantages, but my personal preference will always be firms where you can do it all, meaning everything from embalming to arrangements. That is what I love – doing it all. Sure, at the larger firms you may have what would be closer to a ‘9 to 5,’ but I have always enjoyed the long, unpredictable hours of caring for families no matter when they need me.
Tell us a little bit about where you currently work and your role.
I work for a small family-owned firm, Lauck & Veldhof Funeral & Cremation Services in Indianapolis, and I am currently the vice president. The owner, Jeff Veldhof and I are the only two full-time funeral directors. Jeff has also been a mentor to me and has shown me what to expect when I become an owner. It is my goal to become a worthy successor and buy this firm one day.
You are a certified celebrant. How does being a celebrant help you as a funeral director and to better serve families?
It is another ‘feather in my cap’ that I can add to my offerings for families. It also allows me to offer meaningful services to families that may not be ‘religious.’ I predict this will be much more in demand in the future and celebrant services will become the majority.
You mentioned wanting to become a funeral home owner someday. Have you gotten any pushback on that goal?
There is no doubt in my mind that I will become an owner of a funeral home. I have unfortunately had pushback from others that this dream is too ambitious or that funeral home ownership is ‘not all that it is cut out to be.’ Though I have respected the opinions of others, ownership is still my definite major purpose, and I will keep reaching for that goal until I achieve it.
In addition to being a full-time funeral director, you are the owner of Have License, Will Travel, which provides continuing education for funeral professionals. You operated the business with the late John F. Worland. Tell us about John.
John was another mentor of mine. We became business partners in 2019, and we were very close. He was also my very best friend, became a second father to me, and ended up becoming my father-in-law. He was truly one of a kind. He inspired me to go even further in my career than he did and to always stay true to myself. I had never had anyone who believed in me the way that John did, and his loss was very devasting to me. He taught me one final lesson after his death – how to be on the other side of the arrangement table.
How did you first get involved with the business?
John’s health was in decline when we became business partners, and he wanted to ensure the continuity of offering quality continuing education to our fellow funeral directors. He would not believe how much the company has grown in the last few years – he wouldn’t know what to think if he knew I even made a website!
When it comes to continuing education, what are some of the most in-demand topics and courses you teach?
The most in-demand topics have been the same since I began presenting. Law, OSHA, and Federal Trade Commission compliance.
Do you do most of your training virtually and/or in person?
Most of my training is done in person. I receive calls from several firms throughout the year and they hire me to present all day, in person seminars to their staff. The states that I serve require at least half of their hours to be in person, and this is the most convenient way for them to get all of their credits.
What was the most interesting invitation or most memorable that you have received to provide training?
Honestly, it’s just an honor to be asked back year after year to some of the firms I present for. It’s like I’m visiting my family. I am not particularly close with my actual family, so my funeral service colleagues are my chosen family.
What was it like working in funeral service during the pandemic?
The pandemic is not something I talk about often. I was boots on the ground and had to see my community grapple with the virus. At one point, I was going to the same nursing home several times a day and I would embalm until the late hours of the night. I pretty much lived in the prep room during this time. It certainly changed funeral service and how our families celebrate life. I have seen many more all-in-one-day services since the pandemic.
Has the way the public and the profession embraces female funeral directors changed over the past 15 years? How much more work needs to be done in this area?
Yes, and it has been a sight to see. I went from being told that “women don’t belong in funeral service,” to becoming vice president of a funeral home. I have also been the very first female funeral director to ever be hired at two of the firms I have worked for. I am also constantly inspired at the NFDA’s Professional Women’s Conference, where I get to network with so many passionate and successful female funeral directors. I do think there is more work to be done, especially with women in leadership roles, becoming owners, and keeping women in the profession.
What can be done to encourage more people to explore funeral service as a career?
We need to start early. Career days at high schools and colleges are a great start. And when you have curious young people who come in during visitation or come knocking at the funeral home door, instead of brushing them off, allow them to ask questions and answer them. You could inspire a lifelong career.
What is a book you’ve read or a resource you find valuable that you would recommend to others – and why?
I have both! I recommend “Grief is NOT Sacred” by Jon Connelly. This is my favorite read as someone who went on the most difficult grief journey of my life after my mentor passed away. It completely reframed how I thought about loss.
A wonderful resource I would like to share is the Funeral Service Foundation. I encourage any young professional to apply for their scholarships and earn the chance to be able to network with your colleagues and grow your knowledge of the profession.
Do you have any final thoughts to share?
Stay true to yourself and to our beloved profession – always find joy in the struggle.
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