By Thomas A. Parmalee
Bob Arrington tended to disappear when he was seven years old, but his mother always knew where to find him … at the local funeral home.
It was across the street from his elementary school and was where he spent most of his free time.
He was there so much that his mother became increasingly concerned, so she sent him to a child psychologist, with his interest in funeral service at such a young age weighing heavily on her mind.
The psychologist told his mom not to worry; it was a phase – and he’d outgrow it, she said.
“I’m still trying to grow out of it 62 years later,” he said.
Arrington, now 69, would eventually open Arrington Funeral Directors in Jackson, Tennessee, in June 1995.
At that time, he anticipated some bumps in the road … but he thought he’d be running a successful funeral home in short order.
It turns out he miscalculated the length of his journey.
In the early 1990s, Jackson’s funeral homes were all downtown, many of them housed in converted residences.
Arrington, who did not grow up in funeral service and was trying to make the unlikely leap from first-generation funeral director to first-generation funeral home owner, saw the opportunity to build a facility designed from the ground up as a funeral home, located in North Jackson where growth was exploding.
“The first few years were brutal,” he recalled. “We didn’t have families lining up. Some months I wondered if we’d survive.”
To keep the business afloat, Arrington leaned on investors — friends, community members and others who believed in his vision. He sold $25,000 units of stock to pay off his debt, at one point counting 52 shareholders.
“That’s worse than a church,” he said with a laugh. “We had quarterly partner meetings and annual stockholder meetings. Every Christmas Eve for three or four years, someone would bring up closing the place.”
While he started the business as a 60% majority owner, he underestimated how loyal members of the community were to the competitors he was trying to displace. They may have been stuck in their ways and reluctant to innovate, but families kept going to them.
In his first full year of business, Arrington’s funeral home served only 10 families.
“I would ask, ‘Why do you use so and so,’ and it was not because of the location, their building, price or service,” he said. “They would say, ‘I don’t know why we use them … we just always have.’”
He realized what he was trying to pull off would be hard. After all, he was trying to convince families to stop doing business with firms that they didn’t even know why they were using in the first place.
Arrington, a man of faith, grasped that it was akin to getting someone to change their house of worship.
“It was a challenge,” he admitted. “But it made me become a better funeral director who provides better service.”
It also led to the private placement that brought on additional investors, which he saw as a necessary and strategic move.
Instead of there being only six owners, which was what the business had initially, dozens of shareholders latched onto the firm – and all of them could go around town and proudly proclaim that they had a piece of Arrington Funeral Directors.
“It gave us a larger circle of influence as well as the ability to pay off the bank,” he said.
Up until that time, the debt load had been steep, with payments of $13,300 a month. While the private placement solved that problem, Arrington’s personal stake in the business dwindled to just 10%.
“I had to kind of give it up to save it,” Arrington said of the business.
But if you know Bob Arrington, you know this: The man refuses to quit.
“I’d already come too far,” he explained. “I knew Jackson needed a better funeral home, and I wasn’t going to stop.”
That perseverance paid off. Slowly, the firm’s reputation grew. Personal service, attention to detail, and a willingness to try new ideas helped Arrington Funeral Directors carve out its place in the community.
After about eight years in business, the funeral home finally began serving more than 100 families per year. It expanded to at one time include another funeral home and two cemeteries to boot before downsizing. Today, it serves about 250 families per year and is the only firm in town with its own crematory, which it installed in 1997.
“The other funeral homes at the time asked me what I was doing putting in a crematory – because no one wants their loved one cremated,” he said.
Of course, that was an exaggeration because Arrington had families opting for cremation, and he’d regularly make a 75-mile trek to a crematory in Memphis.
Asked about making the investment to install a crematory, which was substantial, he said. “I knew cremation was coming I just didn’t know when … and I wanted to be in the position that when it did, we would already have a crematory,” he said.
Today, the firm has a 45% cremation rate, he said.
Several years earlier, he made another move with lasting consequences: He reconnected with a longtime friend, Judy, who he married in Las Vegas in 1992. The two have been partners now for more than 33 years.
“We went to high school together,” Arrington said. “We reconnected after each of us divorced. Neither of us had children, and we dated for about two years and married in Vegas … She spent more than 30 years as a registered nurse in the obstetrician-gynecologist and women’s health fields. She came to work at the funeral home seven years ago, bringing a detailed set of eyes on what we do.”
In 2005, Arrington orchestrated a masterful buyout that consolidated ownership. Today, he is the majority 80% owner with two longtime partners. His business is the market leader, and he has no intention of giving up his hard-earned position.
“Looking back, the struggle was probably the best thing that could have happened,” Arrington said. “If we’d had families lined up out the door like McDonald’s, I would not be providing the service that I am today.”
It was having to fight for every single family – and appreciating their business – that shaped the culture of his funeral home, he said.
He also attributes his success to his drive as a first-generation owner. “Usually, the third generation is messing things up or selling the business,” he said, noting that many such professionals inherit companies they really aren’t passionate about building.
“There is something about having your skin in the game and grinding it out,” Arrington said. “There is just a different mentality than of it being laid in your lap and carrying it on versus having to go out there and figure out how to get business and then figure out what to do after you get it.”
He also has invested in his own education, joining study groups, traveling to conventions and never for a second thinking that he knows it all.
“I have always been one to look at anything, because I know there is a better mousetrap out there,” he said.
Moreover, he’s continued to put money back into the business – and not just by installing a crematory.
“We began investing in technology on a significant level about 10 or 12 years ago,” he said. “We spent about $75,000 on audio, video and lighting equipment – and we are constantly trying to improve our service. There is always someone at the front door, ready to open it … it’s those little things. If we have a funeral at 2 o’clock, we are going to start at 2 o’clock.”
Despite his progressive mindset and deft maneuvering to retake majority control of the business, Arrington would face a major life challenge in 2007, suffering a mild heart attack that caused him to look at life with a new perspective.
He sold two cemeteries in Jackson as well as a funeral home and cemetery in Covington, Tennessee, whittling down his business to his mainstay funeral home and crematory in Jackson.
“The heart attack helped me realize there is more to this thing called life, and it is not just work and grind,” Arrington said. “It helped me be a more focused and strategic thinker.”
The second funeral home was about 60 miles from his flagship location, so he was thankful to be able to concentrate on what matters. He also gradually came to another realization: “I’m not really a cemeterian,” he said.
Looking back at his career, he admits that he’s had a lot of naysayers, but he’s also had a lot of supporters, who have ponied up money to invest in his vision – for which he’s incredibly grateful.
An Unlikely Journey to the Top of the Profession
It’s not entirely clear even to Arrington why he developed such an interest in funeral service, but it began when he was growing up in Milan about 20 miles north of Jackson.
According to the biography on his funeral home’s website, “He became intrigued and interested in funeral service when his grandfather died in 1963.”
His neighbor, Ralph Jones, owned Bodkin Funeral Home, and Bob would leave school every afternoon and go to the funeral home and ride home with the neighbor’s son, Johnny Jones, who now runs the funeral home.
With Park Avenue Elementary School being right across the street from the funeral home, Arrington really did spend a lot of time there – so much so that the owner began to pay him for all the odd jobs he was doing.
“The owner just took me under his wing and mentored me for seven or eight years, and that is what started my love for funeral service,” Arrington said. “I’m not sure it was really one thing that flipped the light on … it was that intrigue and easy access to the funeral home.”
Regardless of what it was, he’s thankful that Jones saw something in him and cared enough to encourage his interest in funeral service – and over time, his mother and entire family embraced his passion for the profession.
“Ralph is the reason I am in funeral service; he was very patient with a young boy intrigued and interested in funeral service,” he said. “I think he is the reason I try to mentor and help any young person wanting to come into funeral service. He had a very long and lasting impact on my life.”
Later, the Arringtons would move to Jackson. At 15 years old and in high school, Arrington knocked on the door of the George A. Smith & Sons Funeral Home and asked for a job.
He worked there all through high school before entering John A. Gupton College in Nashville, where he earned his degree in mortuary science.
After graduating, he went to work at the funeral home but then took a detour, helping his father sell insurance.
When Service Corporation International bought the George A. Smith & Sons Funeral Home, however, Arrington took notice, thinking to himself that he could do better for the people of Jackson.
He came back to funeral service, this time, determined to be an owner and the maker of his own destiny.
Innovation and Entrepreneurship
Arrington has never been content to stand still.
In 1996, he teamed up with Homesteaders Life Company to launch Corporate Funeral Providers, which is the only payroll deduction funeral funding product on the market.
“I was always looking for ways to meet families where they were,” he explained.
He was elected to the board of directors of the Tennessee Funeral Directors Association in 2000 and was elected president in 2008. He was appointed by the governor to serve on the State Board of Funeral Directors and Embalmers in 2002, a position that oversees licensing and complaints within funeral service. He served as the State Board president in 2005.
In 2025, he was added to the Tennessee Funeral Directors Association Wall of Fame for his significant contributions to the funeral service profession.
Even though he’s remained tremendously active in his local community, he’s been involved at the national level as well, earning a spot on the National Funeral Directors Association’s board of directors in 2010 before ultimately being elected president of the association in 2015-2016. To this day, he remains the only Tennessean to hold that honor. He also served on NFDA committees and represented the NFDA in the televised documentary “Death, It’s A Living,” shown on CNBC.
He’s been a loyal supporter of the Funeral Service Foundation, serving as a trustee for 10 years and as a board chair for two terms. He continues to serve on its Fund Development Committee and is also a board member for the National Museum of Funeral Service History.
Arrington credits Graham Cook, the former chairman and CEO of Homesteaders; as well as Chris Barrott, formerly of Aurora Casket Company, with encouraging him to get involved with the foundation.
Cook said of Arrington, “It has been my privilege to work beside Bob both when he was a customer and then when he assumed leadership roles in both Funeral Service Foundation and the NFDA. Bob is a fountain of innovation even when it challenges conventional norms. His seemingly endless energy, infectious enthusiasm and common-sense communication style make him a natural leader.”
His work at the foundation has been so impressive that it recently named him the 2025 recipient of its prestigious Distinguished Service Award in recognition of his decades of exemplary leadership, service and dedication to advancing the foundation’s mission and strengthening the funeral service profession.
Asked about the award, Arrington said, “It’s the biggest honor that has ever been bestowed on me.”
He noted that it has been given to stellar individuals, such as the late Todd W. Van Beck and the late Tom Johnson and other professionals who have contributed so much to funeral service.
“I know what that honor means,” he said, noting that he found it virtually “inconceivable” that someone like himself running a 250-call firm has received such an endorsement. “I just love and believe in the mission of the foundation,” he said.
During Arrington’s tenure as a trustee and as chair of the foundation’s board, its endowment more than doubled – from $5 million to more than $11 million. The foundation credits him for furthering numerous initiatives.
Beyond his service, Arrington and his wife are charter members of the Guardian’s Fund, the foundation’s planned giving society, demonstrating a deep personal commitment to the future of funeral service.
John Heald, chair of the foundation and a titan of funeral service in his own right, had lofty words of praise for Arrington, noting that he “exemplifies what it means to serve with heart, purpose and vision.” He continued, “His leadership has not only shaped our foundation but also uplifted countless professionals and families across the country. It is our honor to recognize his enduring legacy with the Distinguished Service Award.”
Christine Pepper, CEO of the NFDA, has worked closely with Arrington over the years. “From his role as NFDA’s Policy Board representative for Tennessee to his tenure as NFDA president and chair of the foundation, Bob has consistently led with humility, vision, and unwavering commitment to funeral service,” she said. “His energy and vision have left a lasting mark on our profession, and I am grateful for his many contributions to strengthening funeral service for both colleagues and the families we serve.”
Pepper continued, “What impresses me most about Bob is not only his sharp business acumen and forward-thinking ideas, but also his deep passion for advancing the future of our profession. He embodies the very best of our profession: a deep dedication to families, a belief in the importance of community and an unwavering commitment to giving back to this great profession. His leadership with the foundation has created enduring resources that will benefit professionals and grieving families for years to come. This recognition is richly deserved, and I can think of no one more fitting to receive this year’s Distinguished Service Award.”
Jessica Koth, public relations director at NFDA, was thrilled to hear that Arrington received such a lofty honor from the foundation. “Working with Bob over the years has truly been a joy,” she said. “He is warm, approachable and unfailingly kind – and he brings those same qualities to every interaction with families, colleagues and the media.”
She continued, “As a member of NFDA’s Spokesperson Team, he never shied away from a challenging interview. Instead, he helped tell the story of funeral service with clarity, compassion and grace. He had a unique ability to articulate the story of funeral service in a way that built trust and understanding, and he consistently represented both NFDA and our profession with excellence and integrity. I am so happy that Bob is being recognized with the Distinguished Service Award as it reflects not only his remarkable contributions to our profession, but also the genuine spirit he shares with everyone around him.”
The team at Homesteaders shared words of praise for Arrington, with Steve Shaffer, board chair, president and CEO, stating, “Bob’s career is a testament to what it means to serve with heart, humility and purpose. His lifelong dedication to helping families through some of life’s most difficult moments reflects the very best of our profession.” He added, “Even after decades of service, he continues to invest in his own development and the future of our profession. It has been a joy to work alongside him during my time at Homesteaders, and I am proud to celebrate this well-deserved recognition of his exceptional commitment and impact.”
Dan Lodermeier, vice president of field sales at Homesteaders, said, “Bob Arrington has made a career of offering a level of service beyond what is expected … Bob has left his mark on the funeral service profession.”
Wanda Sizemore, formerly the director of field training and development with Homesteaders who now works with Envision Strategic Partners, said she was impressed with Arrington from the moment she met him almost 20 years ago.
“We went in to meet Bob and his staff, and I was so impressed with the talent he had gathered to serve the community,” she said. “They were professional, knowledgeable and incredibly kind – just like Bob. The Arrington funeral home was impeccable. It had everything and more to support families as they moved through the grief process. Nothing was overlooked.” She continued, “It was incredible to watch Bob as he gave to his community, his friends and family and his profession. He was a wonderful role model for his team, his suppliers and funeral service. He was and still is relentless in his desire to provide service at the highest level.” She also praised Arrington’s wife, Judy, calling the two a “power couple” who focus on “making things happen, all for the good of the family being served today and the profession we love.”
Welton Hong, founder and CEO of Ring Ring Marketing, said he’s always been impressed with Arrington’s commitment to the deathcare profession. “What I’ve always loved about Bob is he knows that every family he touches with marketing is one more family who’ll be better off, because he’s truly committed to helping them honor their loved one,” he said. “He’s in this profession for the right reasons, and I’m proud to call him a client and a friend.”
Arrington vowed to stay committed to the foundation and the profession.
“I want to try to help the future of funeral service, which is kind of a challenge these days,” he said. “There are not a lot of young people coming into it – many members of the third and fourth generation want to do other things and are not picking up the torch.”
Starting ObituaryShare
The mild heart attack Arrington did not stop him from innovating and trying new things.
In 2017, he teamed up with Roy Heatherly, a 30-plus year Gannett newspaper executive, and his wife, Beth, to launch ObituaryShare, a digital obituary distribution platform. Liz Pyle would join the team as a partner several years later.
The idea for ObituaryShare emerged after a conversation with Heatherly, who asked him how he was handling obituaries as print readership declined.
“We realized families needed a new way to share obituaries,” Arrington said. “Newspapers were shrinking, but social media was growing. So, we built a tool to make sure obituaries actually reached the audiences that cared.”
ObituaryShare, which Arrington serves as partner and president, allows funeral homes to distribute obituaries across targeted social media audiences in real time, increasing visibility and engagement while also driving website traffic.
Families, Arrington said, are grateful. “We’ve had obituaries reach tens of thousands of readers. It’s not about selling flowers or preneed, though those things happen as a byproduct. It’s about serving families and honoring their loved ones.”
When Arrington’s funeral home handled the arrangements for Jimmy Cruz, a longtime Realtor in the Jackson area, ObituaryShare strategically promoted the obituary to relevant groups, including communities that were meaningful to the deceased but might have been missed through traditional channels, such as Realtors and a bankers association.
Ultimately, his obituary was seen 16,000 times on the funeral home’s website. “It was all because we sent it to an audience with an interest in his death – we didn’t wait for the audience to find out about it and try to find his obituary. We just kind of reversed it: Send it to the audience that wants to know about it,” Arrington said.
The work involves an “autopsy” of the obituary that is conducted by ObituaryShare staff, with partner funeral homes having the ability to also share their insights in a target audience box on the ObituaryShare portal.
At Arrington Funeral Directors, the solution has worked wonders, driving website traffic from about 10,000 visitors per month to about 70,000 monthly visitors today, Arrington said.
“This is a way to connect families with an audience that they would have bever connected with if we did not strategically work at getting the obituary out to people,” he said.
It’s also good for the overall business, he said.
“Increased flower sales, increased preneed leads … well, those were by products we never intended. We were just trying to figure out a way to serve families and get the loved one’s obituary out,” he said.
But now, he fully grasps the importance of those website visitors and what it means for his overall brand.
“We either want them walking in or clicking in,” he said.
With the ObituaryShare system, it’s typical for an obituary to receive 5,000 to 8,000 page views, he said. “We don’t even print that many newspapers in this town anymore” he said. “It is working, and families are appreciative.”
Arrington remains aghast that some firms don’t even post their obituaries on Facebook, although he has the philosophy to each their own.
“They put staff anniversaries and birthdays and community events … but 80% of people who go to your website are looking for an obituary,” he said. “Those other posts are nice to have but they are not serving the family at all.”
The cost to participate in the ObituaryShare network is so reasonable that it’s a risk not to at least try it out, he said.
The charge is $139 per obituary – and there is no setup fee or monthly fee.
“We encourage funeral homes to try it for 60 days … see if it moves the needle,” he suggested.
When he introduced ObituaryShare at his firm, only about 20% of families selected it, but then he began including it in a package and the percentage of families opting in shot up to 80%.
“In the package, we included some things we had been giving away as well as a register book, thank you card … we put in a list of stuff that had about $300 worth of value and we charged $500 for it,” he said.
Funeral homes, however, can implement ObituaryShare however they wish, with some eating a portion of the cost, knowing that they stand to gain from increased website traffic, flower sales and preneed leads and other firms including it in a package and making up their investment. Some firms sell it directly to families at cost and others mark it up to earn a small profit.
As a result of using ObituaryShare at his own firm, Arrington says his funeral directors have paid more attention to writing an engaging and meaningful obituary, since they know more people will be reading it, he said. That has been wonderful to witness, he said.
Today, ObituaryShare partners with technology providers like Tukios and Tribute Technology, integrating directly with funeral home websites and management systems. Johnson Consulting Group has also encouraged clients to implement the solution and has been tremendously supportive, he said.
A Legacy of Service
From a boy who couldn’t stay away from his neighbor’s funeral home to a funeral director who fought tooth and nail to establish his own firm, Arrington’s career has been defined by persistence, innovation and service.
“I may not have had the easiest path,” he reflected. “But I wouldn’t trade it. Everything I went through made me a better funeral director — and hopefully helped me give back to the profession I love.”
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