By Thomas A. Parmalee
Alan Creedy and Danny Jefferson, two funeral service innovators who host a popular podcast, pondered whether every family that asks for a direct cremation really wants one in their latest episode of “Two Guys and a Question.”
Jefferson began the podcast by pointing out that there are times when it might be hard to convince a family that they should care about honoring a family member.
“Why should they care?” he asked, noting that if someone says, “My brother had been drunk for the past 40 years, he didn’t have any money, and I have to spend my money to do something” is in his words, “one of the harder cases you have.”
He also observed that there are times when a funeral arranger may feel pressured to sell certain items at the behest of management instead of truly listening to what a family wants.
Creedy focused on a third scenario: When a family tells the funeral director, “Dad said we just needed to cremate him.”
Such a directive can pressure family members into doing nothing, he observed.
“And yet, many people who say that, at least at a subconscious level, are not completely comfortable with it,” he said.
He admitted that there are no doubt cases when a family member really should not care about someone. But often, family dynamics are more complicated.
Getting personal, he shared, “I have an older sister who is estranged from us — I haven’t seen her since 2009. I don’t even know if she is still alive.”
And yet, if Creedy were told tomorrow that she had died, there would be no hesitation on his part: He would be fully committed to honoring her with a service.
“That is based on my personal belief that everyone needs to be honored,” he said.
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