By Thomas A. Parmalee
In funeral service, much of the profession’s most important work happens out of sight.
Families see the arrangement room, the chapel and the graveside service. They see the funeral director who guides them through one of the hardest moments of their lives. What they rarely see are the thousands of products, systems, and logistical details that make those moments possible.
For more than three decades, Alicia Carr, president and CEO of Kelco Supply Company, has lived in that unseen layer of funeral service — the space she describes as “the work behind the work.”
It is a place where operational excellence meets compassion. And it is where Carr has built both a career and a calling.
Growing Up Inside the Family Business
Carr’s connection to Kelco began long before she became its owner and CEO.
Leo Hodroff founded the company in 1939 as the L.H. Kellogg Chemical Co. At the time, he was attending the University of Minnesota, completing a degree in mortuary science, and working in his family’s funeral home. According to Kelco’s website, with his keen sense of vision and a $100 bank loan, Kelco began to grow.
As it did, he hired staff, which included Carr’s mother – Nira Mesker – who joined the company in 1971 after she relocated from North Dakota to Minnesota with her husband, David Mesker.
In 1971, Amedco, a corporate firm, acquired the company and retained ownership until 1986, when it was bought by Service Corp International. Even though Kelco remained a successful business, SCI decided to sell it along with several other supply companies. In 1990, Carr’s mother – who by that time had been SCI’s controller for more than 15 years – bought the business.
Risking her life savings to become a business owner not only redefined her path, but it would change the trajectory of generations to come, including her children – and particularly, Alicia.
SCI helped finance the deal, allowing the family to make payments over time. Carr’s mother ran the operation; her father, a truck driver who had spent years hauling freight across a five-state region, transitioned into making local deliveries for another company.
It became a true family enterprise.
Carr – then about 15 years old and the middle child (she has a younger brother and older sister) – sorted mail, helped in the warehouse and tackled odd jobs. One memory still makes her laugh: a shipment of gloves that needed quality testing. The children were tasked with inflating each glove individually to check for holes.
“Today I’d just reject the shipment,” Carr said. “Back then, cheap labor meant the kids.”
Those early experiences weren’t glamorous, but they introduced her to the rhythms of the business: checking inventory, staying on top of customer needs, and tackling the problems that go along with running a supply company.
Innovation at the Kitchen Table
Entrepreneurship also ran through the household in another way.
Funeral directors frequently approached Carr’s mother with practical requests: Do you have something that solves this problem? Could you find a product that does this?
Those questions often ended up being discussed at the dinner table.
Carr’s father began experimenting with solutions in a home workshop. One of his early innovations was a heavy cast-iron dual-casket display rack — equipment once common in arrangement rooms when funeral homes carried large on-site inventories.
Truckloads of iron beams would arrive at the house, and the family watched as he cut and fabricated them.
Carr’s future husband, Dan, who excelled in shop classes in high school and had a natural aptitude for welding and fabrication, frequently helped. Over time the small operation grew into a separate manufacturing venture that produced specialized funeral equipment.
Even today, traces of that legacy remain inside Kelco’s product mix. Some items — such as transport carts, signage and specialized holders used in preparation rooms — were designed and built by Carr’s husband based on feedback from funeral professionals.
The pattern established decades ago continues: Listen carefully to the profession, then solve the problem.
From Executive Assistant to CEO
Carr formally joined Kelco after high school, working as an executive assistant to her mother while pursuing a business and marketing education.
Her mother had a clear vision for her children’s roles.
Carr briefly considered mortuary school early on, but her mother steered her toward business training instead. “You can hire licensed professionals,” she told her daughter. “But the business side is what you’ll need to understand.”
For more than a decade, Carr worked inside the company, learning every operational layer — from customer service and purchasing to logistics and finance.
In 2001, her mother stepped back from daily management, and Carr assumed increasing responsibility for running the business.
Six months after Carr’s mother retired in 2003, tragedy struck: She was diagnosed with cancer and died about a year and a half later. Three years later, Carr’s father died.
Carr was suddenly in charge.
“I remember my dad looking at me and asking, ‘What do you want to do? Do you want to keep running it or sell it?’” she recalled.
He even asked her if perhaps she could lean on her siblings for support, to which she responded, “There is no way I can work with my siblings.”
Something else complicated matters: At the time, she was eight months pregnant with her third child when her mother died.
The weight of the decision was overwhelming. Grieving, preparing for a new baby and managing a company created intense pressure.
Her time in the hospital after giving birth was particularly stressful. “At the time my mom died, I was the HR department; having to process Kelco’s payroll from my hospital bed the day after giving birth,” she said. “The doctor walked in and asked me what I was doing, and I told him I had no other choice but to work from here,” she said.
Initially, Carr told her father to sell the business. An accounting firm prepared a confidential information package and sent letters to potential buyers.
Fifty letters went out.
Fifty responses came back expressing interest.
But during the months that followed — while caring for a newborn and reflecting on what Kelco meant to her family — Carr changed her mind.
She decided to keep it, purchasing the company from her mother’s estate.
The year was 2003 … and Carr found herself a business owner.
Understanding the Profession from Every Angle
Today, Kelco Supply Company operates from a 38,000-square-foot warehouse and office facility in Minnesota, with about 10,000 square feet dedicated to office space and the remainder devoted to logistics and distribution. Carr has overseen two company moves during her tenure.
The company manages roughly 12,000 stock keeping units, serving funeral homes, crematories, cemeteries, hospitals, mortuary schools and other institutional partners.
The majority of its business is domestic, though it also ships internationally and works with the U.S. government’s mortuary affairs operations. Carr recalls for quite a while after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, the government was its top customer because of the sheer number of fatalities that resulted from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Kelco’s product lines broadly fall into two categories:
- Preparation room supplies, including embalming fluids, chemicals, and technical equipment.
- Cremation products, including urns and related memorialization items.
Some items generate significant revenue individually — such as mortuary cots or specialized equipment — while others move in high volume, like embalming chemicals and consumables.
Despite the scale, the company remains relatively small, employing about nine people. That size allows for a hands-on approach to customer relationships.
“We watch how our customers are doing,” Carr said. “We track purchasing habits as compared to previous years, and if we see that it’s off (up or down), we reach out and talk with them. We show appreciation for their loyal support as well as asking them how best we can serve them.”
Those conversations often reveal broader industry pressures. Many funeral homes are holding off on capital purchases, delaying building improvements, or extending the life of existing equipment as they navigate economic uncertainty.
Carr sees Kelco’s role not simply as selling products but as helping funeral professionals navigate those realities.
Going Back to School
Although she followed her mother’s advice by studying business, Carr never lost her curiosity about the technical side of funeral service.
Years later — after her children were older — that curiosity resurfaced.
In 2017, she enrolled in mortuary school at Des Moines Area Community College, even though she already had deep industry experience as a business owner.
But Carr had a different goal.
She wanted to fully understand the science and practice behind the products Kelco sells.
During her training, that knowledge quickly proved practical. In one course, she learned how adding bentonite — a clay-like substance — to certain powders could reduce airborne particles.
The insight immediately reminded her of feedback Kelco had received from embalmers about a dusty product formulation.
That single classroom lesson helped inform a future reformulation.
Today, Carr is a licensed funeral director and embalmer, adding another perspective to her leadership role.
“It gives me credibility,” she said. “But more importantly, it helps me understand exactly what our customers experience in the prep room.”
A Different Kind of Leadership
Carr describes her career as existing “behind the work.”
Funeral directors care for families; suppliers make sure those directors have what they need.
It is a role that requires empathy as much as operational discipline.
Carr noted that media portrayals can focus on the funeral profession’s rare scandals while ignoring the everyday reality of service.
“One bad example can make the entire profession look bad,” she said. “But if people really understood what funeral directors do every day, they’d see how much care goes into helping families heal.”
Her leadership philosophy reflects that understanding. Internally, she focuses on building a team that recognizes the emotional significance of the profession they support — even if their work involves logistics rather than direct family interaction.
Externally, she aims to strengthen relationships throughout the profession via board participation, mentoring and advocacy, including in her role as a founding board member of Funeral Women Lead, which aims to unleash the greatness of women in the funeral profession through leadership, mentorship and advocacy.
She has also served on the board of Children’s Grief Connection (now renamed Healing Hearts Connection) in Minnesota, as well as a board member of the Selected Independent Funeral Homes Educational Trust.
A Positive Path for Women in Deathcare
Carr stepped into the CEO role at a time when both funeral service and its supply chain were still largely male-dominated.
Her experience in the profession, however, has been largely positive.
Because she had grown up attending conventions and industry events with her mother, many colleagues already knew her when she assumed leadership. That network provided encouragement and support during the early years.
“I had a good role model and mentor who exposed me to all the right people,” Carr said. “After my mom died, I had a lot of support from people – both men and women – and they were very encouraging. I knew I could call them when I started … I knew someone was out there cheering for me.”
Today, she sees significant changes underway. Most mortuary schools now graduate more women than men, and organizations dedicated to supporting female leaders in funeral service are gaining momentum.
Carr believes those shifts are healthy for the profession.
Empathy, communication and relationship-building — skills often associated with female leadership — are particularly valuable in a field centered on grief and service, she said.
She now considers mentoring and encouraging other women an important part of her legacy.
Although her children are now adults, she also prioritizes maintaining a solid work-life balance.
“I am not the one who opens the building, although I am usually the one who is here last – except for a couple days a week when I go to Pilates,” she said, noting that a few years ago, she made a concerted effort to start working out.
“I found myself sitting at the office, thinking the kids are grown and my husband won’t get home until later, so I may as well keep working,” she said. “I decided to make a plan to take care of myself – eating well and resting well.”
She added, “I do go through phases where things get stressful … but that is no different than any other business owner.”
A Company Built on Listening
Kelco’s future strategy still reflects the same philosophy her mother instilled in her: Listen carefully to funeral professionals and respond with practical solutions.
That approach extends from product development to logistics.
For large, heavy equipment items, the company often leverages direct-shipment partnerships to avoid unnecessary freight costs and warehouse handling. The goal is simple: Reduce expenses for funeral home customers – and keep everything as easy as possible.
Carr and her team also watch broader supply-chain changes carefully.
Recent tariff increases have dramatically affected some imported urns. One product that once carried a tariff of roughly $367 now faces more than $2,000 in duties, plus additional fees tied to international oil taxes.
Rather than eliminate such items entirely, Kelco works to maintain a balanced product mix — ensuring funeral homes still have both premium and value-priced options available.
“Customers would rather pay a few dollars more than lose the option completely,” Carr said.
Carrying a Legacy Forward
Carr’s children — now adults in their twenties — have all worked inside the business at some point, just as she once did. Whether the next generation ultimately takes ownership remains an open question.
For Carr, the legacy she hopes to leave is both personal and professional.
She wants to carry forward the values her mother established: integrity, relationships and genuine care for the people the company serves.
At the same time, she hopes to expand that legacy by strengthening the profession itself —especially by encouraging new voices and female leaders to emerge.
“We’re not just here to ship boxes,” she said.
The statement captures the quiet reality of Kelco’s role in funeral service.
Behind every service, every visitation and every family farewell lies a complex network of preparation, equipment and supply. Most of it remains invisible.
But without it, the profession could not do what it does best.
And for Alicia Carr, supporting that mission — steadily, thoughtfully and often out of sight — has become both a career and a calling.
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