By Thomas A. Parmalee
A new podcast features four big thinkers from the death-care profession who share candid insights about how to better serve families, delivered with a healthy dose of levity and humor.
Passare, which belongs to the family of companies owned by Directors Investment Group, recently released the first three episodes of “The Graveyard Shift.”
The podcast features what Todd Carlson, executive vice president of sales and chief sales officer at DIG, calls “a motley cast of characters,” including:
- Matt Bailey, president and funeral director at Bailey Family Funeral Homes in Wallingford, Connecticut.
- Gary Freytag, president and CEO of Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretum in Cincinnati, Ohio.
- Jimmy Lucas, owner and funeral director at Lucas Funeral Homes in Fort Worth, Texas.
Commenting on the name of the podcast, Bailey said in one segment, “It implies a lot of things … people think of a ‘shift’ of work” – but you can also think of the shift necessary in our profession and our society “and how it is we remain relevant to client families.”
Joshua McQueen, vice president of marketing and product at DIG, said the concept for the podcast, which can be viewed on YouTube or Passare’s Facebook page with a video element, originated from Passare’s advisory board.
Bailey, Freytag and Lucas are all members of that board, and during a dinner in October at the National Funeral Directors Association convention, they realized that the profession at large would benefit if they were able to eavesdrop on their lively and insightful chatter.
“Our advisory board has some of the best operators in the nation, who have great insight,” McQueen said. “They just have really entertaining conversations and are quick witted – and within those conversations, they challenge one another and push back on one another. We thought it would be fun if we could share that.”
Three Great Episodes … and Just Getting Started
If missing a shift is not your style, you can subscribe to be notified every time a new episode of The Graveyard Shift is released.
You can also watch the individual episodes on YouTube by clicking on the links below.
Humor is laced throughout the podcast even though the four men sometimes tackle some weighty subjects.
Each host has a descriptive tagline, with Freytag being described as “someone who uses big words because he went to Harvard” and Lucas being someone who “laughs until he cries at his own jokes.”
Perhaps unsurprisingly if you’ve spent time with him, Bailey is billed as a man who “thinks dry humor is a communication style” and Carlson as someone who “could talk for three minutes before taking a breath.”
The fact that all four hosts, all of whom have achieved incredible success in the death-care field, can poke fun at themselves and each other is disarming – and also makes the podcast entertaining.
But make no mistake about it, the hosts address important topics along the way – and share more about themselves.
For instance, Freytag has been running Spring Grove for 23 years, even though he thought he’d only be there for three years. With an operation that spans 750 acres, including 450 that are developed, and encompasses two cemeteries and 13 funeral homes, it is truly vast.
Bailey shared that he enjoys speaking and training others as celebrants through the Insite Institute – and he sits on the board of the American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Service, which is his alma mater.
Lucas’s operation serves about 4,000 families on an at-need and preneed basis per year. “I love what we do, and love serving the communities we are in,” he said.
And Carlson has spent 31 years on the technology side of the business, which is his passion.
When you watch the episodes, you’ll learn how the four hosts have developed a friendship that goes beyond their work as funeral professionals.
“I always felt trying to give back to our profession is a very important thing,” Bailey said, noting that he is a “believer in a rising tide lifts all boats.” Often, he learns as much as he does from others when he speaks at various events, he said.
Once, Bailey was a mentee of the NFDA’s Meet the Mentors program … and then as soon as he turned 40, the association invited him to become a mentor. Nothing could have made him feel older, he joked.
Freytag observed on one episode that funeral service is different than most other professions in that once you get outside a 20-mile or so radius, you usually don’t compete with fellow operators.
As a result, whenever someone comes up with an innovation, they are usually willing to share it with others, which is an opportunity he did not fully grasp when he entered the profession more than 20 years ago.
Since then, he has learned the power of “Spring Grovitizing” all the great ideas he can and applying it to his own operation. Now, he shares those ideas with others to help them succeed.
In another episode, the four tackle the question of why funeral service matters, as well as what makes for a great funeral. Bailey, Lucas and Freytag all share examples.
But they also address uncomfortable topics, including the mistakes that can happen in funeral service, no matter how hard you try to stay on top of things.
Lucas shared that once, a former employee sent the cremated remains of a woman to the mother of the deceased instead of her surviving husband – an error that was compounded by the fact that the remains were sent to a different country.
The situation demanded “brutal honestly” and “extreme ownership.” It also required the realization that saying, “I am sorry does not fix it,” he said.
The conversation that occurred after was delicate, and the funeral home made a monetary donation to a charitable organization in the memory of the deceased. The funeral director who made the mistake “was given the opportunity to go somewhere else,” Lucas said. He added that it was a “monster mistake.”
Stay Tuned for More Insights
There have been a small number of people who have not appreciated the podcast’s humor, but most reactions have been overwhelmingly positive, McQueen said.
“Our goal for the podcast was what if it could be more of a sports talk show?” he said. “Something that can create value for funeral homes but also be entertaining … conversations between real operators and real friends who are not scared to poke fun at one another but at same time have immense respect for the families we serve.”
You can find the podcast on the Passare website or through Apple, Spotify, Audible and other popular destinations.
Creating and promoting the podcast has been a fun process, McQueen said, noting that when they recorded the first episode, they did not even know what they would name it and did not yet have a logo.
Several future episodes have already been recorded, but they will be rolled out on a staggered basis – about twice per month, he said.
“The episodes are already getting hundreds of listens, and we are hoping to continue to grow that as awareness increases,” he said. “We have heard a lot of people say they appreciate the levity that we are bringing to the conversation.”
That’s because not everyone in the profession is walking around somber and solemn, McQueen said. “We have our highs and laugh and joke like everyone else,” he said. “That being said, we are doing so in an intentional way … you will not hear any disrespect toward the profession or families.”
Listeners and viewers can look forward to hearing from other voices beyond the four hosts, as guest speakers will be a regular feature of the podcast, including Tom Antram, president and CEO of French Funerals – Cremations & Farewells; Martha Thayer of Mortuary Training LLC; and Melanie Carre, Ph.D., the author of “Emotional Intelligence for Funeral Directors.”
The show will tackle interesting topics in future episodes, including artificial intelligence, the use of technology in funeral service, aftercare and succession planning.
“While Passare is behind the podcast, it is not strictly a technology or software podcast,” McQueen emphasized. “Our goal is to create something engaging for the profession while at the same time creating value.”
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